Ed Hooks Feedback

Well i piched my idea for FYP to Ed Hooks today and it wasn't to keen on it....although after he explained why it made a lot of sense to me.

Basically he said it would be better if i removed the boss character so that Émile had one objective all the way through the animation and i shouldn't have the photo as part of the animation as when he gets to the top of the board and the wind takes the photo he loses the power in the animation and the photo gets it as its the photo thats making him dive not himself.

So i went back to the script during the break and worked out what i could do, with the help of my mates in the Students Union while having food i got some new ideas and pitched them to the people around me and asked what they thought, a lot of them didn't work but there was one that seemed to be a strong candidate for an animation.

So i wrote this out and showed Ed again....

Start with shot of poster of the high dive act.

Émile is leering over the wooden pool noticing how small and shallow it is.

(The look on Émiles face will tell the audience what he is feeling)

He puts his hands out and taps a leaf that is floating on the top of the calm water.

He finds himself struggling to lift his head and look up at the top of the ladder where the diving board awaits him.

When he feels he is ready for the climb ahead he places his foot on the ladder and in a very nervous state starts to work his way up to the top.

He continues to climb but with each step it becomes harder and harder to go much higher.

Émile suddenly finds himself looking down and comes to realize how high up he is.

He quickly grabs hold tighter and pulls himself closer to the ladder so that there are little more than a couple of millimeters between the ladder and his body.

As he reaches the midpoint of the ladder a small seagull swoops down and starts to get in his way, he shoos it away and it flies off so he continues to climb.

Not long after the first time the bird comes back and starts to get back up to his some old tricks and once again Émile shoos him away.

He soon makes it to the top of the ladder but still struggles to compose himself and pull himself over the top and onto the board.

He takes a deep breath and pulls himself over while remaining very low and close to the board.
He looks up and notices the same bird perched at the end of the board as if he was waiting for him.

Slowly he begins to rise to his feet, holding onto the railing so not to slip and fall.
He edges close to the edge of the board in hope that the bird will fly away but it flies up and starts to pester Émile once again.

Émile tries to shoo away the gull for a 3rd and hopefully final time but in the act of doing so he slips and lands on the board causing him to be flipped in the air and propelled to the water below

So i showed this to Ed and once again he went over it with me and showed me what needed changing and improving, he said that although the bird works for another conflict i now have 2 stories, the story of the bird and her protecting her nest at the top and the story of Émile trying to do his act.

Also im taking away the power from Émile again and giving it to the bird as its the birds fault that he fell off the board not Émiles own chose.

So now im stuck with 2 ideas and both would be incomplete if i removed the other character from the plot, i like the idea that the bird is looking after her nest and eggs by trying to get Émile to leave her alone, this is something that might be usable and i might be able to get away with this.

Another option would be to have Émile and no bird at all or family or boss, i simply have to give him a fear of hights and that will effect him....using influences from Alfrid Hitchcock's movie Vertigo.

I know that this animation was set out to be a humorous animation with a little slapstick and playing on the characters emotions and this is no longer the case, i'm just finding it harder and harder to do this.

My housemate and i just came up with another option while i was writing this, maybe Émile is a magician and his Dove from his act has gotten out of the cage before the show has begun, and perched itself at the edge of the diving board and he's got to go get it.

I really dont know anymore.....i feel lik this animation is going a little out of hand right now and i really need some one on one with somebody, i mean im not an script writer or a story writer im an animator.....i find it hard enough to write let alone wirte a script.

I would love nothing more then to be able to come up with something tonight and go to Ed tomorrow and show him it and for him to say..."that works, you've got it...but what if....." i would be really happy if that was the case and i would feel like i have created something that can be really well worked on.

All i can do for now though is look at the script, look over the notes i made in his class today and try and come up with a story that has everything he talks about in it.

I know what Ed Hooks says isn't the be all or end all of everything but it does mean a lot to me what he thinks of my work, maybe its because of the way i see him or maybe its because of the things he's done, all i know is if i get something that Ed really really likes i might have a shot in this world as an animator and that would be by dream on its way to becoming a reality.

Anyway i best go get to work on this new script i guess as i also have meeting with Chris on Wednesday ....although depending what i will be showing him is all down to what Ed says about the work i have.

Maybe a 2D blocking pass of the new script...if there is one by tonight might help things a little....we'll see.

Bye for now peeps and keep well and keep animating ^_^